The 84th Annual Academy Awards Predictions and Drinking Game

The Academy got at least one thing right this year...Billy Crystal is back, baby!

The 84th Annual Academy Awards aired Sunday Night, February 26th, 2012.  Below were my predictions for the winners in the major categories.  The actual winners were filled in after the Oscars were announced.

It was nice to have Billy Crystal back – he was funny though a shadow of his former golden self.  It was a fairly snooze-inducing night with no big surprises except for maybe the tinny microphones (an ironic sound design defect during a show that lavished undeserved gifts upon a silent film) and I eagerly switched over to The Walking Dead on AMC at 11pm. 

I scored a strong 17/24 in my family Oscar pool.  In the only categories I gave a damn about, I was 1 for 2 as A Separation took home a well-deserved statue for Best Foreign Language Film while Emmanuel Lubezki was royally robbed in the cinematography category for The Tree of Life by the guy from Hugo. Continue reading

State of the Union Drinking Game V. 2012

Seriously, guys, I have to give this speech...now?

 
If I were President Obama, I wouldn’t want to get on national television on Tuesday night.  The more the media focuses on the current Republican Presidential Primaries, the better he looks.  He’s best out of the spotlight right now, but it is his duty…and tradition…so the show must go on at 9pm EST Tuesday, January 24, 2012.
 
Oh, how we’re all enjoying the dog (Santorum) and pony (Romney) and rabid wolf dog (Newt) and radically libertarian anti-war horse (Ron Paul) show that is the Republican primary season.  Heck, I’ve been so wrapped up in the raucous roller-coaster comedy of miss-manners that I have no idea what Obama is going to talk about this year.  Jobs?  Sure.  Gridlock?  Check.  The economy is in the midst of a mild recovery on paper (unemployment slightly down, job creation slight up) but it’s not enough to change the sentiments of the populace who are still feeling the full aches and pains of the recession.   Or maybe he’ll take about the season finale of his favorite TV show, Homeland?  (Seriously, are you watching that show yet?  The season finale was off the chains, yo!) Continue reading

83rd Annual Academy Awards Predictions and Drinking Game

Anne Hathaway and James Franco are wondering, too, how they got the gig.

The 83rd Annual Academy Awards aired Sunday Night, February 27th, 2011.  Below were my predictions for the winners in the major categories.  The actual winners were filled in after the Oscars were announced.

There were no real surprises this year.  Anne Hathaway did her best, but to no avail, next to lifeless co-host James Franco, who appeared as if he hadn’t even shown up for rehearsal and couldn’t care less that he was there.  Next year, Academy, give us a comedian.  The speeches were nothing special, though who would’ve thought that of the two, Melissa Leo would’ve out “bat-shitted” Christian Bale?  Meanwhile, after batting under .500 in my predictions last year, I rebounded nicely by scoring 16/24 correctly and regained my family Oscar pool crown. Continue reading

State of the Union Drinking Game V. 2011

President Obama looks over the speech one last time to see if they can fit in any more allusions to Graham Greene or Terrence Malick to make Dave happy.

In the words of Bob Dylan, the times they are a changing.

It’s amazing what the other party regaining power in Congress and one rousing and comforting speech in the wake of a tragedy can do for a guy’s approval ratings.  After quoting everything from the Bible to the trailer for Terrence Malick’s The Tree of Life in his Tuscon Speech (which served as a Hail Mary pass that will be left hanging in the air until 2012), Obama looks to get back down to it with his highly anticipated and much ballyhooed State of the Union speech on Tuesday night, January 25th and 9pm EST.

Gone are the days of crazy-eyed blinking Pelosi, and now sitting next to Biden and his comb-over behind the President will be Sooki-colored blubbering Boehner.  Apparently out on the floor those kooky tea partiers, blue dogs, and bleeding hearts will be mixin’ it up, sittin’ all up in each others’ pieces singin’ kumbaya.  Ah, political theater.  Ain’t it grand?

All eyes will be on the Prez, and there ain’t nuthin’ to do in times likes these but get your drink on. Continue reading

Boardwalk Empire: Drinking Game

Margaret Schroeder’s Temperance League be damned! 

And now what all the kids have been clamorin’ for since the series premier…

The Schleicher Spin Boardwalk Empire Drinking Game!

Feel free to add your own rules in the comment form as the series progresses, and thank your lucky stars Prohibition is dead – though please drink responsibly.

Take a swig when:

  • Someone anachronistically drops the f-bomb
  • Someone is shot, stabbed, lynched, kicked, slapped or beaten Continue reading

82nd Annual Academy Awards Predictions and Drinking Game

We're three wild and crazy guys!

The 82nd Annual Academy Awards aired Sunday Night, March 7th, 2010.  Below were my predictions for the winners in the major categories.  The actual winners were filled in after the Oscars are announced.

Well, I scored a personal worst of only 11/24 this year (after a record shattering personal best score of 18/24 last year), but I’ve never been happier to have been so wrong.  The right film actually won for the first time since, well, I don’t know when!

Highlights of the evening included:

  • A few genuine surprises in the screenplay categories and for foreign language film.
  • Hosts (Baldwin and Martin) who were actually funny.
  • No musical numbers spare for the humorous opening! (Though there was an annoying dance number for the best score nominees)
  • The humility, humor, and quiet heartbreak of Sandra Bullock who knew she did not deserve to win but was so sincerely thankful.
  • The humility of Kathryn Bigelow who knew she deserved to win (and made history in doing so) but also knew there are more important things and more important people to honor than films and filmmakers. 

Continue reading

State of the Union Drinking Game V. 2010

"Look...guys, relax...you know I still got this....right?"

Hope…where have ye gone?  Back to Arkansas?  Did you take the Laughter with you, Hope?  Were you shot in the face at the Crawford Ranch?  I sure do miss the good ol’ days of Bubba…and Dubya…when we could all laugh our problems away. 

I wrestled for a long time with putting up a drinking game for the 2010 State of the Union which will air live this Wednesday night, January 27th at 9pm EST. 

The ‘Spin has come a long way from the days of playing “Bush or Chimp” during past States of the Union. 

I feel maybe I’ve grown up some in the past few years…or maybe the country has.  Or maybe politics just aren’t funny these days.  There’s not much to laugh about with an economy still in shambles, wars still ongoing, Tea Parties gaining traction and a non-functioning and totally inept Congress that can’t get anything done. 

But I’d be a fool to overlook the fact that when my 2008 Presidential Debate Drinking Game appeared as a top link on The Huffington Post website, it was the first time The Schleicher Spin was put on the map.  To this day, despite all my literary and film-based blathering, that ridiculous thing remains my most popular post ever.

So, what the hell…if this is the new Great Depression…then consider Prohibition repealed, and let’s make COCO proud… Continue reading

81st Annual Academy Awards Predictions and Drinking Game

 

The 81st Annual Academy Awards aired Sunday Night, February 22, 2009. Below were my predictions for the winners in the major categories. The actual winners were filled in after the Oscars were announced.

Well, the telecast was a shoddily edited, over-directed, over-hyped painful bore to sit through — oh wait, that was Slumdog Millionaire — and there were no major surprises, though a-typical host Hugh Jackman was quasi-funny with his opening number in a weird I-had-no-idea-he-was-so-THEATRICAL!  kind of way.  But really, Academy, if you have any good sense left, bring back a comedian host next year.  I want to laugh, not cringe while watching Hollywood pat itself on the back. 

At any rate, it’s a miracle I was able to stay awake to tally that I scored 18 correct out of 24 in my predictions, which obliterated everyone else in my Oscar pool and is a new personal best topping my 17 correct predictions two years ago…when movies were still good. Continue reading

Election Night Drinking Game

Well, folks, Tuesday November 4th is just around the corner, so here’s what all of you Joe the Drinkers have been waiting for:

Your 2008 Election Night Drinking Game Initiative!

The rules for this one are simple and come courtesy of my friends Karen and Diane.

Just follow these 5 easy steps:

1.  VOTE!   (If possible, early and often)

This is the most important step, good citizens.  Remember:

“One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.”  -Plato

2.  Purchase your favorite bottle of vodka.  I recommend sending an olive branch to Palin’s neighbors and buying Stolichnaya. Continue reading

Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game

BIDEN VS. PALIN

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday!

He’s a train-riding hothead with a Donald Trump comb-over from the second smallest state of Delaware.

She’s a moose-hunting redneck, tongue-tied, Tina Fey look-a-like from the biggest state of Alaska.

And they’re going head-to-head for one night only from Washington University in St. Louis, MO.

THE DATE:  Thursday, October 2, 2008

THE MODERATOR:  Gwen Ifill from PBS

THE FOCUS:  A no holds-barred VP smack-down.

___________________________________________________________________

And here it is, for all you Debate Party maniacs –

Your official Drinking Game Initiative: Continue reading