The 81st Annual Academy Awards aired Sunday Night, February 22, 2009. Below were my predictions for the winners in the major categories. The actual winners were filled in after the Oscars were announced.

Well, the telecast was a shoddily edited, over-directed, over-hyped painful bore to sit through — oh wait, that was Slumdog Millionaire — and there were no major surprises, though a-typical host Hugh Jackman was quasi-funny with his opening number in a weird I-had-no-idea-he-was-so-THEATRICAL!  kind of way.  But really, Academy, if you have any good sense left, bring back a comedian host next year.  I want to laugh, not cringe while watching Hollywood pat itself on the back. 

At any rate, it’s a miracle I was able to stay awake to tally that I scored 18 correct out of 24 in my predictions, which obliterated everyone else in my Oscar pool and is a new personal best topping my 17 correct predictions two years ago…when movies were still good.

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Best Picture:

Predicted: Slumdog Millionaire

Possible Upset: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Winner:  Slumdog Millionaire

Best Director:

Predicted: Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire

Possible Upset: Gus Van Sant for Milk

Winner:  Danny Boyle

Best Actor:

Predicted: Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler

Possible Upset: Sean Penn for Milk

Winner:  Sean Penn

Best Actress:

Predicted: Kate Winslet for The Reader

Possible Upset: Meryl Streep for Doubt

Winner:  Kate Winslet

Best Supporting Actor:

Predicted: Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight

Possible Upset: No one

Winner:  Heath Ledger

Best Supporting Actress:

Predicted: Penelope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Possible Upset: Anyone else as this is one category that is wide open and primed for an upset

Winner:  Penelope Cruz

Best Foreign Language Film:

Predicted: Waltz With Bashir

Possible Upset: The Class

Winner:  Departures

Best Animated Feature:

Prediction: WALL-E

Possible Upset: Kung Fu Panda

Winner:  WALL-E

Best Documentary Feature:

Predicted:  Man on Wire

Possible Upset:  Trouble the Water

Winner:  Man on Wire

Best Adapted Screenplay:

Predicted: Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire

Possible Upset: Eric Roth for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Winner:  Simon Beaufoy

Best Original Screenplay:

Predicted: Dustin Lance Black for Milk

Possible Upset: Martin McDonagh for In Bruges

Winner:  Dustin Lance Black

**For the complete list of nominees and winners in every category, visit my friends at the IMDB.

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…and now on to the important stuff…

…the Rules for the 81st Annual Academy Awards Drinking Game:

Drink when:

-Someone thanks their “agent, spouse, parents, or kids.”

-They cut off a person’s acceptance speech unceremoniously with the “exit” music.

-Someone gushes about how “uplifting” Slumdog Millionaire was.

-Hugh Jackman tries to be funny.

-Somebody needlessly and awkwardly mentions something political as a presenter or winner.

-Barack Obama or the economy is mentioned.

-A winner says something to the effect of, “I can’t believe I won with all these other talented/wonderful people I was up against.”

-There is a completely unneccessary music/dance number.

-They honor the people who died last year.

-Somebody gets a standing ovation.

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Check out the winners in my annual alternatives to the Oscars, The Davies.

Enjoy! Wagering on the Oscars is encouraged. And please drink irresponsibly…I mean, responsibly!

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Written by David H. Schleicher