Hope…where have ye gone?  Back to Arkansas?  Did you take the Laughter with you, Hope?  Were you shot in the face at the Crawford Ranch?  I sure do miss the good ol’ days of Bubba…and Dubya…when we could all laugh our problems away. 

I wrestled for a long time with putting up a drinking game for the 2010 State of the Union which will air live this Wednesday night, January 27th at 9pm EST. 

The ‘Spin has come a long way from the days of playing “Bush or Chimp” during past States of the Union. 

I feel maybe I’ve grown up some in the past few years…or maybe the country has.  Or maybe politics just aren’t funny these days.  There’s not much to laugh about with an economy still in shambles, wars still ongoing, Tea Parties gaining traction and a non-functioning and totally inept Congress that can’t get anything done. 

But I’d be a fool to overlook the fact that when my 2008 Presidential Debate Drinking Game appeared as a top link on The Huffington Post website, it was the first time The Schleicher Spin was put on the map.  To this day, despite all my literary and film-based blathering, that ridiculous thing remains my most popular post ever.

So, what the hell…if this is the new Great Depression…then consider Prohibition repealed, and let’s make COCO proud…

Here it is: 

The Schleicher Spin presents The State of the Union Drinking Game V. 2010 

Take a Shot When: 

• Obama talks about creating jobs and his “New Job Agenda”
• Obama uses the word “change”
• Obama prefaces a statement with, “Look…”
• Obama mentions health care
• Obama talks about the economy, stimulus or cutting the deficit
• Obama mentions any of the crisis situations he inherited from Dubya, aka “The Previous Administration”
• They cut to a shot of John McCain looking grizzled and constipated
• The President receives a standing ovation while the Republicans stay seated
• Michelle Obama is showing off her “guns” in a sleeveless dress
• They cut to a shot of Michelle Obama or Hillary Clinton sitting next to a refugee or representative from Haiti
• Nancy Pelosi completes a “one-thousand blink” revolution (you may need a sober person with super-vision to stay on top of this one)

Hook up an IV Drip If: 

• Biden’s come-over blows-over during a wave of clapping
• Pelosi blinks herself to sleep
• Obama is heckled
• Obama suddenly describes in detail a plan for something that can actually be defined as change

Shoot Yourself in the Head When: 

• Sarah Palin gives her commentary after the speech on Fox News (THE HORROR! THE HORROR!)

*Surgeon General’s Warning: If you drink too much, you may find yourself in a coma and not awake until 2011 when the Republicans once again have control of Congress.  OH, THE HUMANITY!

Written by David H. Schleicher