State of the Union Drinking Game V. 2011

President Obama looks over the speech one last time to see if they can fit in any more allusions to Graham Greene or Terrence Malick to make Dave happy.

In the words of Bob Dylan, the times they are a changing.

It’s amazing what the other party regaining power in Congress and one rousing and comforting speech in the wake of a tragedy can do for a guy’s approval ratings.  After quoting everything from the Bible to the trailer for Terrence Malick’s The Tree of Life in his Tuscon Speech (which served as a Hail Mary pass that will be left hanging in the air until 2012), Obama looks to get back down to it with his highly anticipated and much ballyhooed State of the Union speech on Tuesday night, January 25th and 9pm EST.

Gone are the days of crazy-eyed blinking Pelosi, and now sitting next to Biden and his comb-over behind the President will be Sooki-colored blubbering Boehner.  Apparently out on the floor those kooky tea partiers, blue dogs, and bleeding hearts will be mixin’ it up, sittin’ all up in each others’ pieces singin’ kumbaya.  Ah, political theater.  Ain’t it grand?

All eyes will be on the Prez, and there ain’t nuthin’ to do in times likes these but get your drink on.

The Schleicher Spin presents The State of the Union Drinking Game V. 2011 

Take a shot when the following key words are spoken: 

  • Jobs
  • Energy
  • Spending
  • Taxes
  • Health + Care
  • Tuscon
  • Together
  • Hard + Work
  • Not + Going + To + Be + Easy
  • “Look…” + a pause
  • Change
  • Rhetoric
  • Toxic

Hook up an IV drip if: 

  • Boehner cries
  • Biden’s come-over blows-over during a wave of clapping
  • A Republican and Democrat sitting next to each other on the floor break out in fisticuffs
  • Obama reveals the truth about alien life on other planets

*Surgeon General’s Warning: If you drink too much, you may find yourself in a coma and not awake until 2012 in the midst of the Mayan Apocalypse.

Written by David H. Schleicher

Advertisements

10 comments on “State of the Union Drinking Game V. 2011

  1. DeeDee says:

    Hi! D.H.Schleicher…
    This post is very interesting, and very funny, (in the right places)…Unfortunately, I don’t follow politics…nor do I “drink”…Therefore, your “The State of the Union Drinking Game V. 2011”…leaves me…Speechless!
    Thanks,for sharing!
    DeeDee ;):)

    DeeDee – no politics and no drinking? Why those two things are my joie de vivre! –DHS

  2. Great piece as usual. Don’t think I have the stomach to down that many drinks, though.

    Cheers!

    Forrest, as long you drink in spirit…or, wait, drink spirits. Well, whatever. –DHS

  3. Not only do I not have the stomach to ingest that much alcohol, but I don’t have the stomach to watch the State of the Union Address. My disappointment, frustration, and anger will continue to bubble up until I go crazy and throw something at the TV.

    Jason, I view politics for what it is: theater. They’ve been pumping this one up like some Oscar-bound epic…The President’s Speech, if you will. –DHS

    • You are right, politics is theater. The problem is politicians run our government and economy. All indications now are politicians are going to be all theatrical again and end up running us into that proverbial ditch.

    • ccyager says:

      Weeeeelllllll, theater? How about a GAME? Think of all the sports analogies politicians use. I often imagine them as children in diapers at a park playground, digging in the sandbox or trying to manuever the slide, pushing the kid next to them, and when he bops them over the head with a plastic shovel, they cry. Politics is a game. Which is played far too much in Washington, D.C. What they need to be doing is governing….

  4. Ted says:

    “rhetoric” and “toxic”

    Good thinking, Ted. I’ll add those to the keywords list! -_DHS

  5. Spanky says:

    Daf – Well Done Sir!!!! I couldn’t be prouder than if I had actually helped with the rules this year.

    Love – Spanky!

    Run and tell all your friends, now, ya here? –DHS

  6. ccyager says:

    Hi, David,

    I am also not terribly political, but I follow it most days because it does affect my life. I have a food allergy for alcohol so don’t drink anymore. It’s like poison to my body and can make me extremely ill even after only a couple swallows.

    What really interests me about politics is the relationship between the politician and his constituency. There’s friction there, a tension between serving the constituencies and serving himself. How do politicians handle power? Do they understand it? This is something I explore in my “Perceval” novels…..

    Hope you didn’t end up in the coma stage last Tuesday evening!

    Cinda

    Cinda, I love when people tell other people they are not political and then proceed to talk politics 🙂 One could argue everything is politics…or part of the GAME (as you put it in your other comment).

    I survived Tuesday night! Hooray! –DHS

Provide your own Spin and tell us what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s