State of the Union Drinking Game V. 2012

Seriously, guys, I have to give this
If I were President Obama, I wouldn’t want to get on national television on Tuesday night.  The more the media focuses on the current Republican Presidential Primaries, the better he looks.  He’s best out of the spotlight right now, but it is his duty…and tradition…so the show must go on at 9pm EST Tuesday, January 24, 2012.
Oh, how we’re all enjoying the dog (Santorum) and pony (Romney) and rabid wolf dog (Newt) and radically libertarian anti-war horse (Ron Paul) show that is the Republican primary season.  Heck, I’ve been so wrapped up in the raucous roller-coaster comedy of miss-manners that I have no idea what Obama is going to talk about this year.  Jobs?  Sure.  Gridlock?  Check.  The economy is in the midst of a mild recovery on paper (unemployment slightly down, job creation slight up) but it’s not enough to change the sentiments of the populace who are still feeling the full aches and pains of the recession.   Or maybe he’ll take about the season finale of his favorite TV show, Homeland?  (Seriously, are you watching that show yet?  The season finale was off the chains, yo!)
Obama hasn’t killed any terrorists lately – no Commander-in-Chief stuff to herald.  Last year he was coming off the high of being Comforter-in-Chief after the Tuscon tragedy – nothing like that this year.  The do-nothing Congress promises any idea proposed will get blocked – what are the chances of getting anything done this year?
So I guess the guy is gonna have to break out the top hat and tap shoes ’cause in an election year, this is gonna have to be as much of a stump speech as anything else.  This state of the union is grim, indeed, but maybe Obama can pull a rabbit out of his hat.
Show us what ya got, my mad-cool Prez.
The Schleicher Spin presents The State of the Union Drinking Game V. 2012

Take a shot when the following key words are spoken: 

  • Jobs
  • Spending
  • Taxes
  • Payroll + Tax + Cut + Extend
  • Pipeline
  • Energy
  • Together
  • Hard + Work
  • Not + Going + To + Be + Easy
  • “Look…” + a pause
  • Change
  • Rhetoric
  • Toxic
  • Gridlock

Hook up an IV drip if: 

  • Boehner and Biden get into a fisticuffs
  • A horse entangled in barbed wire runs down the aisle (oh the symbolism, oh the courage, oh, my War Horse!)
  • Ron Paul finally reveals his true identify as Gollum and demands to see “My precious!”

*Surgeon General’s Warning: If you drink too much, you may find yourself in a coma and not awake until December 2012 in the midst of the Mayan Apocalypse.

Written by David H. Schleicher


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