CAPTION: Cate Blanchett tells Harrison Ford, “YOU MUST RELIVE YOUR CHILDHOOD.”
Where Were the Dinosaurs?, 25 May 2008
Author: David H. Schleicher from New Jersey, USA
Nineteen years after the alleged Last Crusade, producer George Lucas, director Steven Spielberg, and over-the-hill star Harrison Ford reunite for a fourth Indiana Jones film with The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Only in our overly ironic post-modern world could a film like this exist where Spielberg attempts to recapture those magic movie moments he created back in 1981 with the original Raiders of the Lost Ark, which was an attempt to re-imagine the classic action-packed serial adventures from the 1930’s and 1940’s. But can those magic moments ever truly be recreated? Though it stumbles through nostalgia tinted frames, Indiana Jones and the Kindgom of the Crystal Skull is by no means the disaster that was Lucas’ Star Wars prequels or the mind-numbing exercise that was last year’s Transformers. Those were four dour commercial films coldly designed to evoke feelings of a lost childhood era that were saved only by amazing visual effects. Surely we hope to say more about this film.
Indy deserves to be cut a certain level of slack. Many of the complaints swirling around this long-awaited flick (i.e. the screwball dialog, the cornball stunts, and the cheesy effects) were present from the very beginning of the franchise. And lest we forget, a large portion of people were initially appalled by the heart-ripping Temple of Doom and mildly disappointed with the creaky Last Crusade. Even the holy grail that is Raiders of the Lost Ark ended with a lame special effects sequence (and one hell of a face melting). Those who love big set driven stunt action complete with one-liners and death defying tumbles will eat this stuff up just like they did the first three films. My major complaints with this fourth film are the cinematography from Janusz Kaminski, who hyper-lights everything to the point of images being washed out or made smeary, and the lazily lame screenplay from David Koepp, which borrows far too liberally from X-Files era rejected story lines.
The cast is hit or miss with Ford about as effective as you would expect at his age, Cate Blanchett acting the crap out of her villain role (and what great fun she has with that Ukrainian accent), Shia LaBeouf (he’s no River Phoenix) barely tolerable as a motor-head punk kid, and Karen Allen all fun and smiles, most likely from finally securing a big payday after all these years. The update to the 1950’s didn’t quite work for me as no amount of Cold War hullabaloo and Chariots of the Gods style mumbo-jumbo could replace the inherent kick-ass spookiness of Nazis hunting for religious relics. Storywise, Spielberg manages to fit in all of his recurrent child-like obsessions with divorce and aliens, and he playfully recycles his greatest hits not only from the first three films but also from other flicks he’s crafted over the years. When the adventure moved to the Amazon rainforest, I half expected a T-Rex to come traipsing through the jungle for a spell.
The beginning of this installment is a tepid mess, but once Karen Allen shows up about an hour into the film to reprise her role as Marion Ravenwood, the film picks up tremendous steam. For about thirty minutes or so, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a rollicking, old-fashioned white-knuckle adventure complete with car chases through a jungle and along the edges of a cliff, sword fights, waterfall drops, and giant killer ants. The kid in me couldn’t wipe the smile off my face when once character’s face is eaten by the little buggers. It was for these thirty minutes that I completely forgot about Raiders of the Lost Ark, whose scenes replayed in my mind for the remainder of this film’s run-time. Were those magic movie moments recaptured? No, but they were temporarily forgotten and clumsily intertwined with some mildly entertaining new ones. I guess that’s about the best we could’ve hoped for. Just think, this could’ve starred Tom Selleck or been directed by Michael Bay.
Originally Published on the Internet Movie Database:
The Schleicher Spin 
I have to say that I sadly disagree – the best part of the movie was the giant killer ants – and they should have taken Spielberg down with them…
Jess, the killer ants got me thinking of the bugs from Temple of Doom. Those were cool! –DHS
Definitely the best part of the movie…you know, aside from the climactic ending…
Jess, are you talking about the collapsing swing bridge and man-eating crocs from Temple of Doom? You know, the more I think about it, the more I really liked Temple of Doom. It gets a bad rap these days. The five-year old in me still thinks it totally rules. –DHS
See, I don’t know why I went in with such high hopes. Maybe it’s because I’m a movie buff so the thought of a blockbuster full of car chases and explosions excite me as if I was an 8 yr old kid. I thought the scene where Indy and Shia were looking in that den of skeletons was really slow. After that scene I couldn’t get back into the film. It kinda ruined it for me which is sad.
Debalicious, I thought the first half of the movie was very slow. When Karen Allen showed up, it got considerably better, and the chase scenes that followed were decent enough. –DHS
No no no – I ws referring to the giant killer ants being the best part of this train wreck – I happen to Love Temple of Doom – aside from the ending, I loved the meal where they’re eating monkey brains. =)
Jess, oh, I see…you were being sarcastic about the ending of Crystal Skull. Ah, yes, I almost forgot about that dinner scene in Temple of Doom. Monkey brains…yumm! –DHS