One Two Three Four I Declare a Chicken War

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Choose Your Chicken Wisely, Good Citizens!

Look, it’s not like my name is Stan and there’s some Wendy Testaburger out there who I’m trying to impress by being all political and stuff. When I blog about politics, it normally leaves a bad taste in my mouth. You might learn something about me you didn’t care to know and I might learn something about you I didn’t care to know. And then it’s awkward talkin’ for awhile. I’ve tried to avoid taking a side in the recent Chick-fil-A debate. To be honest, I always liked their food and I didn’t understand what one lunatic exec’s political views had to do with that food and the locally owned franchises in my area. But I can’t stand idly by anymore…and here’s why.

Lemme tell you a little story about what happened to me last night. Driving home from a hard day’s work, I was cravin’ some Chick-fil-A as I often do. So I decided to stop on by, and I honestly thought all the recent boycott talk might’ve hurt business and I would be able to conveniently race through the drive-thru in record time. It was all about me, see? What I found was a line around the block and a long wait for some extra-lousy, fatty, greasy, poorly breaded nuggets and soggy waffle fries. Eating the nasty grub at home, I thought, “What the hell?” And then I saw it on the news – Yup! – I unwittingly participated in the hate-laced, Huckabee & Palin-endorsed “Support Chick-fil-A Day.” I became sick to my stomach for multiple reasons. Continue reading

People Is Crazy and Chick-fil-A Is Delicious

Seth Rogan tells a fretful Anna Farris, Yes, this role will totally ruin your chances of doing more serious work in the future.

Seth Rogen tells a fretful Anna Farris, "Yes, this role will totally ruin your chances of doing more serious work in the future. But don't worry, you still look really cute."

Every once in a blue moon a mainstream film comes along that makes you ponder:  WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING?

Idiotically marketed as some sort of Judd Apatow-style riff on Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Observe and Report, I am happy to say, is one such film that defies all expectations and leaves you scratching your head, laughing nervously and a little bit shamed.

Referencing films like Taxi Driver, Fight Club, The Dark Knight and Oldboy and featuring one of the craziest soundtracks of recent memory containing songs with titles like “Dwarves Must Die”, Observe and Report arrives on the scene as a funny as hell and criminally insensitive psychological case study detailing the horrifyingly awkward inner workings of a delusional bi-polar mall cop (Seth Rogen) who becomes obsessed with catching a serial flasher in order to impress the smoking hot cosmetics counter girl (Anna Farris). 

The movie, written and directed with bright-eyed cynical aplomb in a no-holds-barred style by Jody Hill left me wondering many things:

Is there a better actress than Anna Farris when it comes to broad low-brow comedy?  I can’t think of another woman who can still manage to be totally adorable while playing such a crudely despicable character.

Is it possible for a mainstream comedy to be more offensive than Bad Santa?

Just how many mall cop movies will be released in 2009?

Amidst a shocking smattering of dark moments, graphic violence, and groan-inducing nudity, the film also features Ray Liotta as sleazy hot-headed detective, Celia Weston as the worst mother of all time, and Michael Pena lisping it up and sounding like a Hispanic version of Tim Meadow’s “Ladies Man” as Rogen’s second fiddle. 

If Observe and Report proves anything, it’s the old adage that People Is Crazy.

But not crazy enough to blow up a Chick-fil-A, because why would anyone want to blow up a Chick-fil-A?  THAT PLACE IS DELICIOUS.

Meanwhile, if you have a sick, twisted sense of humor, this could be your film of the year.

Written by David H. Schleicher