Hark, Citizens!

On yonder eve the third of October and subsequent eves henceforth totalling thrice, the electorate will listen and watch with bated breath as…

Sir Willard Mittenton T. Romney IV of the Celestial Kingdom debates…

Lord Barackus T. Hussein Obama Jr. of the Incumbency…

…for the opportunity to serve this great nation in the high office of the Presidency.

And regardless of the victor of these great debates…there is but one truth to illuminate the masses…

IT’S TIME TO GET YOUR DRINK ON!

Consider this, dear compatriots in libations, to be a living document.  Provide at will your best suggestions and most opportune and timely rules to be added to the games in the comments section so that we might all partake in drunken sloppiness and hangovers knowing that in our hearts we played the games to their fullest.

So let the Debate Drinking Games begin!

And may the drinks be forever in your favor.

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PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE SCHEDULE:

DEBATE NUMBER ONE:  Wednesday, October 3, 2012 (9p-10:30p est)

MODERATOR: Jim Lehrer

FOCUS: Domestic Policy

LOCATION: University of Denver in Denver, CO

DEBATE NUMBER TWO: Tuesday, October 16, 2012 (9p-10:30p est)

MODERATOR: Candy Crowley

FOCUS: Town Meeting format including foreign and domestic policy

LOCATION: Hofstra University in Hempstead, NY

DEBATE NUMBER THREE: Monday, October 22, 2012 (9p-10:30p est)

MODERATOR: Bob Schieffer

FOCUS: Foreign Policy

LOCATION: Lynn University in Boca Raton, FL

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YOUR DEBATE DRINKING GAMES:

GENERIC RULES THAT SHOULD APPLY TO ANY DEBATE:

Partake in a delicate sip upon the following words or phrases hitting your tender ears:

• Bipartisan
• Working across the aisle
• Bridge the Gap
• Obamacare
• Medicare/Medicaid
• Bain (added by Morgan)
• Winter Olympics (added by Morgan)
• Obama begins a sentence with, “Look…”
• Romney asks, “Are you/we better off than you/we were four years ago?”
• The moderator asks a question for “the undecided voter.”
• God Bless America

ECONOMY SPECIFIC RULES:

Let the libations have the day when the most glorious of phrasing occurs as noted:

• Jobs
• Unemployment Rate
• Middle Class/Middle Income
• Tough Times
• 47%
• Wall Street/Main Street/Sesame Street (added after debate one)
• The 1%
• Millionaires
• Redistribution of Wealth
• Budget
• Taxes/Tax cuts
• Discretionary
• Spending
• Debt/Debt Ceiling
• Deficit

FOREIGN POLICY SPECIFIC RULES:

Seriously tear it off the chains when these mad political fools spout the following:

• China (added by Morgan)
• Terrorist/Terrorism
• Osama Bin Laden
• Afghanistan
• Iran and/or nuclear weapons
• Israel
• Russia
• Time-tables
• It’s a social for al Qaeda or North Korea!
• Finish whatever you are drinking if anyone delivers specifics on how to get out of Afghanistan “safely and responsibly.”

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For your Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game, CLICK HERE!

The Surgeon General strongly recommends heavy drinking up until November 4th. 

After that, you better sober up and VOTE (early and often) on November 6th.

Written by David H. Schleicher